I have entered a stage of life where I should be setting off, starting up, getting going with my life post-education. This is also a time when I receive oodles and oodles of unsolicited career advice. Most often these conversations begin with the seemingly innocuous question: so what do you WANT to do?
It is a common and widespread belief in our culture that if at all possible it is ideal to love what you do. As a result, we the job-seeking are told to figure out what you love and find or make a job out of that.
From childhood we are told we can be whatever we want –not whatever’s available and in demand when we reach our twenties, not whatever we’re good at, or have a talent for (although that’s implied) – but whatever we WANT.
Want seems to have been placed front and centre signifying passion, interest and self-fulfillment. And a myth is born – not only that we should all do what we want – but that we all want something. We are all passionate about something that will eventually lead to a career.
Meanwhile, teen dramas actively perpetuate this myth that everyone has a passion, everyone has a path, a way to find success in what they love, that it’s just a matter of figuring out what that path is.
A sizeable chunk of teens on teen dramas already have a pretty good idea what they want to do with their lives – be it journalism, acting, filmmaking, music making, or inheriting. Whatever the goal, it rarely wavers and these characters offer the option of knowing with confidence where you’re going, going there, and then doing it.
Then there are those characters who aren’t sure what they’re going to do – who often agonize or worry about not knowing. But right there on screen, their path is revealed. A teacher points out their aptitude at drawing, so they go to art school for fashion design, or become an architect. They start leafing through college brochures and psychology leaps out at them, so they graduate to become a high school guidance counselor. Given a little time, and a little guidance, they all eventually figure out what they want to be doing, and then they go do it.
Even those students with no chosen path and no direction (i.e. the ones who don’t want to go to college) get to experience the joy of discovery. They set out to discover something about the world and come back having written a novel. They do odd jobs and discover they have a knack for construction. They do nothing, and get offered a job doing what they most love.
And so a myth is perpetuated – that everyone has a path, everyone has a passion, and that your passion will bring you success. Maybe not right away, and it might not be easy, but get back to me in a couple seasons and let me know how its going.
On the surface, this isn’t a bad thing. It’s like telling your daughter that girls can grow up to be astronauts and surgeons. It’s encouragement to try and work at something you love. But what about those of us without direction? Those of us who don’t know what we love?
I’ve spent the past 5-8 years waiting for the teacher to tap me after class and send me to art school. I’ve been waiting for that revelation that I’m actually good at construction, and can maybe make a career out of it. But so far – no luck.
Maybe perpetuating a myth that everyone should be doing something that is perfect for them is actually detrimental to those of us who haven’t found that path yet. It cuts our motivation in half. It gives us false hope that someone else will do the leg work for us and that when we do finally figure out what it is we want, we’ll slip right into it, like a glass slipper made to fit our foot (and our foot alone).
Because work shouldn’t be hard work – we’ve been told – it should be an extension of who you are. It should be passion, and love, and all you have to do is choose. What do you WANT to do?
