It’s a fantastic first fight. Having dated for several weeks, Rory and Dean get into it over the stereotypical gender roles represented by the quintessential 50s housewife, Donna Reed. Missing the point of women’s liberation entirely, Dean wistfully proclaims that it’s a nice idea… that a woman would make dinner for her husband. Glaring totally justified daggers, the Gilmore Girls have the satisfaction of knowing that they are totally and 100% right in this case.
However, it leads to a fight. Dean refuses to admit that he’s totally wrong, while Rory tries to jam it through his floppy-haired head that it’s oppressive, and limiting, that the women that Donna Reed represents didn’t have choices, and were essentially the property of their husbands, living to serve others. It’s a fantastic First Fight, demonstrating how smart and interesting Gilmore Girls really is under the fast-paced comedy and silly tertiary characters.
Throwing off tired gender roles and feminism are embedded into the premise of the show, as Lorelai’s life is one big series of choices leading her away from what was expected of a “well-bred woman.” But for this episode, the issues are dealt with explicitly, and as it is put into words, those words bitterly, tragically lead to a fight between Rory and Dean…
A beautiful fight, reminding us how amazing this show is, but a fight with an admittedly tragic resolution.
This happens to be one of those fights where Rory is right and Dean is wrong. If he has any legitimate argument at all, he has completely failed to make it. And yet, despite these dynamics, our resolution comes because Rory doesn’t want to be in a fight any more, so setting aside all her convictions, she transforms herself into Donna Reed.
It’s adorable, and her pained 50s housewife dialogue cuts to the quick of how stupid Dean has been. She gives him what he says he wanted, but demonstrates to us how stupid and plastic she seems while doing it. It’s a farcical act – except that Rory, somehow, seems sincere. She reassures him that making dinner and dressing up was fun. She goes to some effort to help make Dean’s side of the argument sound somewhat legitimate… sort of. By focusing on the person of Donna Reed and her professional accomplishments, Rory successfully sidesteps the whole issue that her boyfriend really enjoyed having her serve him dinner in an adorable costume. Argument over!
It’s infuriating! But I love that it happened. I would have preferred a different outcome, maybe Rory explaining that she’s cool with dressing up for some kinky submissive loving, but really, tired old gendered expectations are tired and old for a reason. Luckily, Lorelai is there to delight in Rory’s hilarious outfit and her uncontrollable laughter makes up for the terrifying compromise we just witnessed inside. Righting the universe, Lorelai spins the situation back around, reminding us that Rory’s stunt was a silly game with her boyfriend, an illicit role-play, perhaps, but hopefully far from representative of Rory’s domestic future.
She gave it a whirl, she tried the pearls, but in the end, her mother reminds us she’s still a strong, independent Gilmore Girl. Now, I get to enjoy her amazing 50s outfit, wondering where on earth she found it on such short notice, and not focus on the fact that Dean is a floppy-haired idiot who doesn’t quite understand that love can be expressed in ways other than steak and mashed potatoes.
